Ups and downs, but one helluva ride!

I think I might have hit an all time low in my running ability this morning - 1 mile, barely. I haven't run since my last post, so it has been a few days (ironic, since my last post was about consistency). It felt like starting all over again - it is amazing how much my stamina just drops in a few days. I was talking to a close friend about this and she agreed that sometimes you just hit a wall. I didn't quite get a resolution out of the chat, but it made me feel so much better that someone else feels the same pain that I do. It's easy to keep going when things are going well, but when the running is painful and there is no time (thank you finals!), there is need for some motivation.

I kind of got that motivation/ inspiration today when I watched Gravity, finally! I watched it by myself, because I hate waiting on others to do something that I really want to do (and yet, this was the first time in the past two and a half + decades that I did this alone). So having checked that off my things-to-do-on-my-own list, the only thing I missed was the post-movie analysis of the movie - that is by far my favorite part of watching a movie with someone else. Anyway, the movie was all about not quitting and the quote (and no, its not a spoiler, because you need some context to understand this in relation to the movie) "Regardless of what the outcome, it is going to be one hell of a ride!" definitely stuck with me. I think this somehow links back to my post on expectations - if you expect an outcome, you start thinking about the repercussions, but if you are in it for the ride, then the outcome doesn't matter. I definitely was of this belief going into business school, but I think somewhere along the way I got carried away and started focusing too much on outcomes. Another discussion (I love conversations like these!) with one of my close friends just reinforced this - give without expectations.

Talking about fears and secrets is always tough, and even with your closest friends, it requires courage to show someone that you are vulnerable. I think that is why I hadn't attempted to run for so long, because it made me feel inadequate, because I knew I had horrible stamina. Talking about this experiment of mine, knowing fully well that I might fail (I'm looking into how fast I can walk this half marathon without being disqualified!), required courage on my part - and I am proud of myself for doing this. (Of course, serendipitously, the glass with "liquid courage" written on it, was my birthday gift!) I think business school is definitely a time for self reflection, among other things, when you go through the rigor of the first year and still have a straight head and when you  go through that first round of rejections from your dream companies and can still talk about it (over and over again!).

Speaking of courage and up/downs, I came across this 40 days of Dating project, which caught my attention because doing something like this in public is insanely risky, and because my design class piqued my interest in the lives of designers, and both Jessica Walsh and Timothy Goodman are designers and they kind of put their thought process out there. I absolutely LOVE the concept of lettering and am probably going to try it out at some point.

Bottom Line: Focus on the journey instead of the outcome (unless you are in the economy section on a 28-hr flight - outcome aka destination is a MUCH better focal point!)

Consistency matters

My last run was brutal - I was out of breath a lot and it might have been a factor of just being exhausted, but I made my regular run and was able to run faster in some of my intervals, but slowed down a LOT during my walking times. I noticed that my pace wasn't consistent throughout my run - it would be a lot faster when I first start, and then slow down. I wondered if I went slower, if I could run longer - although it should, my gut said no. Something to try on my next run. This made me wonder whether consistency, not just in pace of running but also the route that I run, and the time of day that I run, makes a difference in developing this habit of running. I've also noticed that this church that stands in my path has been such a weird source of comfort - thats where I start my run and end - but just seeing it stand there in all its majesty inspires me to start my run and tells me that I'm almost there when I come back.

This made me wonder about consistency in performance during Business School - school work, recruiting, friendships. There is just so much to do over the first year that you are behind on some things almost all the time. Juggling and prioritizing becomes such an important and necessary skill. Throw recruiting into this mix and some interviews are good and some are not depending on your state of mind and it is all part of the game. It definitely affects morale a bit (a lot in some cases). Being consistent with the work you deliver sets certain expectations with teammates/ classmates, but how do you bring consistency when all other conditions are varying at a mile-a-minute? A class that you like but need to put in time (which you never have enough of during business school) combined with classes that you don't like and recruiting and family and extra-curriculars - it is insanity! Weirdly enough, there are still some patterns that emerge - consistently late (but still do your part), consistently absent, consistently inclusive or exclusive. There are also other patterns that define your relationships - people who care and show that they care, people who may be nowhere near you but make an effort to stay in touch, people who drop off the face of the earth when they are no longer near you (propinquity! - I remember something from class), people who can take one look at you and realize something's off. When you go through a rough time (and in two years, there will be a rough time), you realize the importance of consistency.

Bottom Line: Consistency matters (not just in cooking)