What is your Net Impact?

I haven't run in a while, for a variety of reasons (that I call excuses), but when I started writing this blog, it was meant to be as much about my success at running as it was about my failure, and at the same time, about my life as a second year MBA student. I'll come back to my running, but first...

I attended my first Net Impact conference this year - it was in San Jose at the convention center. Net Impact is a community of more than 40,000 student and professional leaders creating positive social and environmental change in the workplace and the world. The annual conference that is organized at different locations every year (last year it was at Baltimore), brings together various Net Impact club members from different business schools and also professional chapters (I did not know you can continue once you start working!). The conference had a variety of inspirational speakers who are inducing sustainability into the small business world as well as the big corporation universe. It was very inspiring to hear about people my age who broke the mould to go do something different, something with a purpose that doesn't revolve around "me" but "us". It was also such great exposure to companies that I haven't come across - the opening keynote speakers were the founder/ CEOs of Kiva.org, Dosomething.org, and Carrotmob/ The Spring. I think the theme of the entire conference was 'dare to do something different' because each and every one of us that were there, were there and interested for a reason and maybe not all of us are working toward something big, but we are supporting and sharing ideas and thoughts in the same realm. The best part was that I didn't feel judged that I wasn't in that arena - everyone was just happy talking about what they did, and they just wanted listeners. More about the sessions I liked in the next posts (I should've probably started posting right after the conference but I like to mull things and let them marinate a bit - plus this is an ongoing conversation).

Back to the running - I won't list out all my excuses (well, maybe just a few -  it IS cold, I was traveling, and I have had back issues, and there is a lot of work...), but I realize now that I haven't ran in two weeks and I can't get myself to start back up. I am looking for that inspiration to get up and get moving again - despite the cold (and probably on the treadmill that I dread so much). Yup - this is a low, as far as running is concerned - but its not the end.

Bottom Line: Go to the next Net Impact conference - get inspired to be different!

Ups and downs, but one helluva ride!

I think I might have hit an all time low in my running ability this morning - 1 mile, barely. I haven't run since my last post, so it has been a few days (ironic, since my last post was about consistency). It felt like starting all over again - it is amazing how much my stamina just drops in a few days. I was talking to a close friend about this and she agreed that sometimes you just hit a wall. I didn't quite get a resolution out of the chat, but it made me feel so much better that someone else feels the same pain that I do. It's easy to keep going when things are going well, but when the running is painful and there is no time (thank you finals!), there is need for some motivation.

I kind of got that motivation/ inspiration today when I watched Gravity, finally! I watched it by myself, because I hate waiting on others to do something that I really want to do (and yet, this was the first time in the past two and a half + decades that I did this alone). So having checked that off my things-to-do-on-my-own list, the only thing I missed was the post-movie analysis of the movie - that is by far my favorite part of watching a movie with someone else. Anyway, the movie was all about not quitting and the quote (and no, its not a spoiler, because you need some context to understand this in relation to the movie) "Regardless of what the outcome, it is going to be one hell of a ride!" definitely stuck with me. I think this somehow links back to my post on expectations - if you expect an outcome, you start thinking about the repercussions, but if you are in it for the ride, then the outcome doesn't matter. I definitely was of this belief going into business school, but I think somewhere along the way I got carried away and started focusing too much on outcomes. Another discussion (I love conversations like these!) with one of my close friends just reinforced this - give without expectations.

Talking about fears and secrets is always tough, and even with your closest friends, it requires courage to show someone that you are vulnerable. I think that is why I hadn't attempted to run for so long, because it made me feel inadequate, because I knew I had horrible stamina. Talking about this experiment of mine, knowing fully well that I might fail (I'm looking into how fast I can walk this half marathon without being disqualified!), required courage on my part - and I am proud of myself for doing this. (Of course, serendipitously, the glass with "liquid courage" written on it, was my birthday gift!) I think business school is definitely a time for self reflection, among other things, when you go through the rigor of the first year and still have a straight head and when you  go through that first round of rejections from your dream companies and can still talk about it (over and over again!).

Speaking of courage and up/downs, I came across this 40 days of Dating project, which caught my attention because doing something like this in public is insanely risky, and because my design class piqued my interest in the lives of designers, and both Jessica Walsh and Timothy Goodman are designers and they kind of put their thought process out there. I absolutely LOVE the concept of lettering and am probably going to try it out at some point.

Bottom Line: Focus on the journey instead of the outcome (unless you are in the economy section on a 28-hr flight - outcome aka destination is a MUCH better focal point!)

Consistency matters

My last run was brutal - I was out of breath a lot and it might have been a factor of just being exhausted, but I made my regular run and was able to run faster in some of my intervals, but slowed down a LOT during my walking times. I noticed that my pace wasn't consistent throughout my run - it would be a lot faster when I first start, and then slow down. I wondered if I went slower, if I could run longer - although it should, my gut said no. Something to try on my next run. This made me wonder whether consistency, not just in pace of running but also the route that I run, and the time of day that I run, makes a difference in developing this habit of running. I've also noticed that this church that stands in my path has been such a weird source of comfort - thats where I start my run and end - but just seeing it stand there in all its majesty inspires me to start my run and tells me that I'm almost there when I come back.

This made me wonder about consistency in performance during Business School - school work, recruiting, friendships. There is just so much to do over the first year that you are behind on some things almost all the time. Juggling and prioritizing becomes such an important and necessary skill. Throw recruiting into this mix and some interviews are good and some are not depending on your state of mind and it is all part of the game. It definitely affects morale a bit (a lot in some cases). Being consistent with the work you deliver sets certain expectations with teammates/ classmates, but how do you bring consistency when all other conditions are varying at a mile-a-minute? A class that you like but need to put in time (which you never have enough of during business school) combined with classes that you don't like and recruiting and family and extra-curriculars - it is insanity! Weirdly enough, there are still some patterns that emerge - consistently late (but still do your part), consistently absent, consistently inclusive or exclusive. There are also other patterns that define your relationships - people who care and show that they care, people who may be nowhere near you but make an effort to stay in touch, people who drop off the face of the earth when they are no longer near you (propinquity! - I remember something from class), people who can take one look at you and realize something's off. When you go through a rough time (and in two years, there will be a rough time), you realize the importance of consistency.

Bottom Line: Consistency matters (not just in cooking)

Breakthrough!

Does patience actually pay off? Not always (unfortunately), but right now for me, I feel like it did. I was able to run the first 0.5 miles of my 2.5 miles (hell yes!) run without keeling over or having to stop! It feels incredible to have made some progress (although I have a creeping suspicion that the cup of chai I had right before I ran may have had something to do with it) and I think staying in (for the most part) over the weekend and actually eating proper meals, and sleeping (helloooo second year MBA when this is actually a possibility) helped! It is unbelievable how much that one small teeny tiny progress made me feel so much better - like this whole running thing might actually be getting me somewhere (of course I might completely change my mind after my next run). The morale boost was much needed!

After this run, I am pondering on how necessary a breakthrough is in life - putting it in the context of business school - that first interview, that first job/ internship offer, that first successful event that you organize, the first set of midterms that you pass (yes - pass - Probability & Statistics class at Tepper will have you running for the hills) makes a world of a difference! Even if that breakthrough doesn't result in something concrete, it reinforces the confidence you have in yourself (and yes, no matter how awesome you are, EVERYONE goes through moments of self doubt at some point or the other). Sometimes that moment of mini-success comes right along your way without you doing anything, and sometimes you have to work hard - very hard - for it, and sometimes you have to be on the lookout for it. A jump from 0.35 mi (and this is how I felt when I first started running) to 0.5 mi is not very big, but I was looking for it, and I wanted it.

Bottom Line - Look for the small breakthroughs; they make a difference.

Taking the backseat

Running has taken a backseat this week with oh-so-much going on at school, and I have also been feeling a little unwell, so I thought I'd give my body a bit of rest. It is weird though how I see people running and I just want to run, the weather being so nice and all (which is going to change very very soon). However, I know that I shouldn't and/or have other priorities to take care of, and so unwillingly I don't run. Putting something on the back-burner - I have learnt - is a skill.

Leadership is something you hear so much of during Business School. I can't tell you how many times we've had to prove to someone that we have led people and managed people and led teams to success (starting with the business school applications!).  I'm not sure if everyone realizes that leadership is not always about taking the lead - I think it is also about giving up the lead when you know something at hand is someone else's strong-suit. Knowing when to stay out of the limelight, is also a skill, and an important one at that. I wonder if we will ever be asked the question - "Tell me about a time when you gave up your lead and let someone else shine".

Bottom Line: Stepping back is as important as stepping up.

Expectations - when do you set them?

Expectations are different than goals. Expectations, in my head, align with the outcomes of any or all actions. Setting expectations may be good in some scenarios, and not setting them could be inevitable in other scenarios. How do you navigate through these scenarios so as to not get too disappointed, and yet have enough pleasant surprises?

When I started running, the expectation I set (with myself) up front was that I would go out and run - three times a week for however long it takes for me to get to the half marathon mark. What I didn't consider was that sticking it through will be difficult - I cant sneak in a run when I am in class from 8 am - 10 pm, I cannot run (painlessly) after a night out with classmates (which happens way too often with one drink too many), I don't want to run when it is cold and dreadful outside (which in Pittsburgh, it is for a majority of the year going forward). Even though I knew it would be a long journey, I expected to be farther along in the process than I am right now, so now I am (a wee bit disappointed in myself) changing what I had set earlier to just getting out and running three times a week (no caveat about getting good - I will run thrice a week, or try to, forever technically).

A couple things that have been keeping me from running painlessly, have been cramps and side stitches. Now I know that I should be stretching before I run, and breathe well while I run, but that was a bit of hear-say. When I looked into it further, I found this video very useful, where the doc talks about the types of cramping, how they are caused, and what to do to prevent them, and side stitches. Now, I expect to take the steps that will ensure that I don't face the same problems going forward (well otherwise I'm just plain lazy and like to be in pain).

Business school teaches us to set expectations up front - before a meeting, before starting a group project, and before signing up for a class. This helps get everyone on the same page in terms of objectives, and results. I wonder how or if this can work outside the work/ classroom setting - can you ever set expectations for a friendship/ relationship? It seems so artificial (imagine telling your new friend that  you expect him/her to check in once a week at certain date/time! yuck!) and yet we all have certain expectations that we have in our head about knowing whats going on in your friend's life, about hearing from your significant other regularly, about what we do or don't do for family/ friends ("No, I won't do your dishes."). So the best relationships come out of aligned expectations, but would the bad ones be any better if this whole process of "setting expectations" explicitly happened? I wonder.

Bottom line: Expectations change. Be flexible.

Think running and run thinking

My Spanish for Managers class has revealed more insights than I expected from a language class. We had a guest professor come in, who essentially talked about the culture and about his background, mostly in Spanish (this was supposed to be our exercise - listening to a person other than our professor or TAs and ask him questions - I was guilty of reverting to English). He brought up a very interesting point about Spanish (or any language for that matter), being a way of thinking. When I learn Spanish, I am not only learning the language, but I am also gaining insight into what a native Spanish speaker might think like and structure his/her thoughts like. Being a non-native English speaker myself, this rung so true and I wondered why I had never thought about it that way. Learning a new language, the grammatical logic (or lack of it sometimes), and the difference between the language and your own, helps understand people and their way of thinking much better too. It also makes you feel so vulnerable and stupid when you just don't get something or when you struggle to say something as simple as "I don't know" that it levels the playground. Ever think about international students and how they struggle to get words out? Imagine having to translate your thoughts every time you have to say something!

My mind was very occupied with all of this when I ran today, and I wondered if learning anything new gives you an insight and changes your way of thinking. I see runners now, and I appreciate them more (I also hate them for running by me, chatting away as though its so easy), and I wonder if they are training for something, and if they had gone through the same starting pains that I went am going through. Even though I don't know exactly how, I think it is affecting the way I think - the way I set goals, and go about accomplishing them.

This kind of ties in with my Industrial Design Fundamentals class (part of the Management of Innovation & Product Development track) where we talk about design as a way of thinking (Design Thinking as its called - duh!). Think consumer, think ease of use, think solving the problem, think design.

Bottom Line: Learn something new - it keeps you on your toes, it humbles you, and it changes you.

Away from discomfort or towards it?

Running makes me uncomfortable in more ways than one and yet, I have taken it up as a challenge and want to see if I can get comfortable with it. I am well aware that it wont be an overnight process, and that it will be a painful process, but I am putting myself in that 'zone of discomfort'. (Some may call me crazy for doing that, but I believe that I will learn more from this experience)

Asking for feedback/ advice is another thing that usually makes people uncomfortable, and you do this a lot throughout your MBA. Putting yourself out there and trusting someone else to rip you apart and critique you, is not a fun process, but you are better for it. I have been lucky to have had the most blunt mentors who will tell me how crappy my stories may be, but at the same time coach me and challenge me to improve them. I have learnt that when someone takes the time to rip you apart, they care - its easy to say that something is good, not so easy to tell you that you suck and here's exactly why. Putting myself in an uncomfortable position where I am agreeing that I need to work more on my skills/ deliverable pushes me to do better. I end up wondering if I have a tendency to run towards discomfort (in this particular case of feedback - maybe I run to comfort in other scenarios - case in point - FOOD), but I'm sure for a lot of people, it is all about running towards comfort. Giving feedback is also a skill - an important one that B-school teaches you. Its a test of who truly cares (although keep in mind that everyone has a million other priorities, no hard feelings, but at the time you are not a priority) and who can take critique well.

I have also learnt that unsolicited advice usually falls on deaf ears, for the most part. Wait for someone to ask for advice - free advice is not something people want to hear.

Bottom Line: Get uncomfortable once in a while, it helps you appreciate comfort more.

Immersion

My fun class this semester is Spanish (for managers)! I haven't ever taken Spanish, although I pride myself as being good with languages. I picked up some basic Spanish fairly quickly in Colombia when I was there for ten days and spoke it well enough that the waiter assumed I was a native and spilled out the entire menu at break-neck speed before I could stop him. The professor for this semester long 8:30 am class (what was I thinking?!), who is also Colombian, talks in Spanish the entire time and her theory is immersion.

I couldn't help but relate that theory to running - I was talking about running and how I hate it for a long time, mostly because I never did run. Now, I think about running, write about it, and actually am running - very little, but I still am running regularly and I am learning new things every day (like don't run on an almost empty stomach after a late Friday night!). I am also realizing that a half marathon in May (thats the goal of this running experiment of mine) may not happen will be very VERY challenging since I can run only 0.4 miles without having to switch to walking - 13 is a looooong way away! I was running today and so many other runners passed by me (some cute guys too - running has its perks) and I just felt like I was at the bottom of the totem pole. Then again, this reminds me of last year this time when classes hit me head-on, like a truck carrying loads of bricks speeding at 100 mph (hello Probability & Statistics - its no joke at Tepper). I was pretty sure I would fail all my classes, would not quite be able to keep up with my brilliant classmates, and be kicked out at the end of the first mini (well this is an exaggeration, but I did think it at some point before I drove those thoughts away with tea, alcohol, and food!). I survived (thanks to all my wonderful classmates that helped me out) and I think I'll survive this one too!

Speaking of surviving, National Black MBA Conference is coming up next week and its time to turn the recruiting face on, and get through this crazy busy career fair. I went to the conference last year as well, and this brings back the fact that immersion is the best way to learn - when you are on the floor with thousands of other MBA candidates, spilling out your pitch to hundreds of recruiters. you learn to make your pitch your own and original, and you learn to be aggressive (well in my case, semi-aggressive, apparently I need to turn it up a notch - not fun when humility has been drilled into you forever).

Bottom Line: Just do it (courtesy Nike) - you never know if you can (or cannot) until you try.

When all you want to do is run...

I haven't been running in more than a week and I miss it and I never thought that I would. I miss the daily exercise of focusing just on my (super short) run, my muscle cramps, and my out-of-breath-ness. I hate doing any form of exercise in the presence of people - that is me-time and I hate being seen. Unfortunately, I am in a country where solitude in the open is either difficult to come by or dangerous when you do come by it. However, I can't let this be an excuse and so brisk walks, if not runs, are in order for the next week.

There are times when other priorities take over due to unforeseen incidents, when you don't give a rat's ass about anything other than what's at hand. I have discovered though that it is important to have something to look forward to, something in the future that involves just you. Business school (any grad school for that matter) sometimes is a getaway from the regular life - being a student gives you certain luxuries including time away from being a "responsible" adult (no wonder we see so many eternal students!). Last year, this time, all I could think about was the first day of class, my resume, recruiting, and getting ahead. Today, I am missing the first week, and am only bothered with doing what is necessary to get through the first mini, and spend as much time as I can with family and friends (including and especially those at Tepper, who have been supportive beyond belief), and continue to spread smiles.

Bottom Line: Having something to look forward to can get you through tough times.

Same recipe + different conditions = Different Dish

There are things that you are naturally good at and others that you have to work very hard to get good at. A month into my new adventure, I have realized that running will have to be the latter of the two for me - it does not come naturally (unless there is a syringe behind me - I used to be deathly afraid of shots - or a dessert running away from me). As with any challenge, your hard work pays off initially - I can run 0.3 miles consistently without keeling over (of course between walking and running, I cover 1.8 mi at least)- and then there are lulls - that 0.3 mile statistic hasn't quite improved. The thing is though that other key parts have changed! Thanks to Runkeeper's constant encouragement, I know that I burned the most calories today compared to my previous runs (and then promptly went out to eat a humungous dinner to make up for it of course).

An MBA, and maybe any grad degree for that matter, seems to be the same way (from my experience at least). Initially you work hard and you see the results, and then later on, the same work doesn't yield the same results. Priorities change; interviews come up; people's reactions (or lack thereof) cause chaos, rejections happen. You put in the same amount of effort, if not more, but the effort direction changes and hence the outcomes. Simple, yes? (well duh, I'm no expert to be blogging about this)  If I continue to gage my "MBA success" by my GPA, I am, for the lack of a better term, a fool. The metrics (eesh!) that gage whether my outcome is good or bad need to change too.

Bottom Line: A run is a lap around those sitting on the couch, even if it is only 0.3 miles.

Running with an end in mind

I have heard this at many stages in life that I need to have an end goal to work towards in order to be successful at what I am doing. My first race at school, my first essay, my first dance performance - look at the finish line, think of the big picture message, ensure you cover the stage - are all examples of when I was told to visualize the end. I have never seen it work quite as well as it did with my running. I started off running and looking at my feet, but the minute I started to look at the tree that I wanted to reach or the bench that I wanted to pass, and focus on that instead of my feet, things changed dramatically. I am still just as tired and in pain when I am done running, but the feeling of accomplishment when you cross that goal that you set for yourself, dulls the pain. Keeping the end goal in mind helps you push yourself through those last steps that might not have happened.

Last year, the end goal seemed to be making it through the first year alive and sane (alive - yes, sane - questionable). Last year it was also about getting that killer internship - and I took a risk and ventured into unknown terrain, that has turned out to be a great learning adventure so far. This year it seems to be about getting that ideal job (that statistics say I will leave in about two years after graduation anyway) and while the end goal pushes you through to the finish line, I wouldn't want it to make me miss out on the actual journey.

Bottom Line: Finish lines are good - the more you look at them, the closer they get.

Just breathe and enjoy the road!

Breathing - something so simple and so innate to our body and yet, we often neglect to breathe well. I am not the master of it - nowhere close, in fact it is something I am working on. I have yet to set a rhythm with my running and breathing. I ran-walked a mile and a half yesterday and realized that I barely breathe in the beginning and get out of breath really quickly (duh!). I guess I try to run at a pace that I think I should be running at, not what I feel I should be running at. Breathing (well) helps with pacing yourself and even though I am nowhere close to being able to run long distances, it is something to look forward to.

At this time last year during Basecamp, I had thought I had the hang of being a first year MBA student. Please know that classes will hit you like a slap in the face and there is no rhythm or pace to those first two minis, and yet you will establish one of your own by the end. The main thing to do is take a deep breath and realize that we all have our unique pacing and that keeping up with the outside standards will be a challenge sometimes.

Bottom Line: Breathing makes you stick to your own rhythm, and of course, keeps you alive.

Slow down

The weekend was my "rest time" - in quotes because I think I walked more than I've ran in the past two weeks! Getting to see the Niagara gorge though, was absolutely worth it. I wasn't very keen about hiking for hours on end, but still went along with a friend and had a great experience. The greenery and the sound of the running river water were mesmerizing! It made me wonder though about the difference between walking and running. I've always liked walking - at least I don't have to worry about keeling over and being out of breath. It just lets me take in a lot more of my surroundings in. The greenery on this particular hike just helped me clear my mind. Somewhere at the end of our 5 (ish) mile hike, I just stood around staring at leaves and thinking about just how green and beautiful they were. Slowing down is helpful sometimes.

The first year of MBA studies doesn't always give much time to slow down, but the time is very much necessary - to keep calm, to keep clear, and to maintain optimism. We rarely ever stop to say hi to the shuttle drivers or ask them how their day was, or chat with the cafe server who only caters to MBA students who are running late for a class or a meeting or a party. Slowing down helps us pay attention to things we might have missed, had we been running, and yet running might be the only way to get to our destination in time.

Bottom Line: Walking brings more into you, running takes more out of you. It is a (probably stupid) play on words - appreciate them both. 

Starting jitters!

I am a scaredy cat - big time! I am afraid of heights, of the dark, and of big hairy spiders (well, I don't know if this one counts - who isn't scared of big hairy spiders, unless you are one?). I also get scared when I am starting something new - scared that I might be doing the wrong thing, scared that the results of this new adventure might not be what I expected it to be, scared of all the things that might go wrong. Kind of why I was terrified when I first embarked on this whole MBA journey.

Basecamp (Tepper's 3 week orientation program) was the big introduction to the MBA world for me. I still (and will forever) vividly remember my first day walking up to campus to pick up my ID and walking up the stairs of Posner Hall (Tepper's main building), thanking my lucky stars (and also wondering when CMU might realize that they had made a mistake by letting me in) and just feeling immensely grateful and petrified of what lay ahead. The unknown is a scary realm ( I got a taste of that when I moved countries at the age of 17). I had to face this fight or flight moment and swallow my fears and put my best foot forward (as a dancer, you kind of learn that early on - the show goes on, no matter how scared you are). You don't need to have it all figured out (I honestly don't think I ever will) because the process of learning and changing is continuous.

Running is also similar in that I am anxious that my ambitious plan to pick up running as a hobby might not be conducive for my knees, and my goal of running a half marathon might disappear among my other priorities. I get jitters every time I head out for a run - will my knee hurt this time? Will my performance improve this time? Will I be less tired? Should I even go out for a run?

These jitters that I get before starting something new only help me do better, and prepare better. But at the end of the day, the jitters are worth embracing because even if the result wasn't what I expected, I will be thankful that I did something that I almost didn't do.

Bottom Line: Embrace the starting jitters as part of the adventure, unless of course it's the five cups of coffee that is causing it.

Honeymoon Phase

As with all experiences, running also seems to have its honeymoon phase. The time when everything about it is new and hence appealing because you are in love with it, in some sense. I love how the wind blows in my face (not because of the my speed, mostly because it is windy out here) and the feeling of victory when I run past the goal that I set for myself. I adore the scenery (I mean, just look at the place that I run in - it is gorgeous and a motivation for me to keep going back - but it will only last the summer unfortunately) and the sounds around me (no - I don't like to drown everything out with loud music - especially when that everything includes the sound of chirping birds and rustling leaves) and I have even come to like the pain running puts me in (it reminds me of my experience with dancing, when I actually started to crave the muscle soreness).

I know that this phase will end soon, specially as the weather changes, but the question is whether I will keep pushing past my honeymoon phase knowing that it will get tougher (and easier in some ways). After my knee injury I decided to buy a good pair of running shoes - I hate shopping most of the time, and I was not going to go to a store to get me started. Plus, I knew that it would only give me an excuse to put off running. A friend gave me her old issues of Runnersworld and there was a simple map in there on what the optimal shoes are for how much you run and how much support you think you need. This might not have been the most researched decision of my life, but I ended up buying Saucony's Omni 11 and I am happy with it so far, plus it fits all the criteria for the right pair of running shoes.

The first few weeks in Pittsburgh was definitely part of the honeymoon phase of my MBA - I loved the city, the food, the beer, the people, the school - it was all new. I felt like the most fortunate person in the entire world for having had the opportunity to be at Tepper. I keep reminding myself of that feeling - because it is easy to lose sight of that in the daily assignment submissions, the club meetings, and the project work. The true test of any relationship is how you like it after the newness wears off - and I still love the city, the food, the beer, the people, and the school - for different reasons now because I know them all better, but I still love them.

Bottom Line: Enjoy the honeymoon, but know and anticipate that the beer goggles wear off afterward.

Run-walking

I've been noticing more of the runners on the street, now that running is on my mind. I ran three times a week a couple weeks ago before I hurt my knee and had to rest it back to health. My strides are long and high and I tend to get out of breath really easily, and I did notice that my steps are heavy and full footed. It isn't surprising that I get tired very easily and my (already shot) knees start hurting.

I was stopped at a stop sign the other day and saw an elderly gentleman running in the morning. He looked like he was about 70 and was running a good distance now, and he was fast. I noticed that he was taking very short strides that weren't very high. It was almost like walking - really fast, with a bit of a bounce. I tried that today and it felt so different and so good to be able to run 0.35 miles (yes - just a fraction of a mile; did I not already mention that I can't run a mile to save my life?!) without getting extremely out of breath. If I had done some research, I would've come across this useful video about running form, but alas I made some of the discoveries myself the hard way.

I ran-walked a total of 1.65 miles today, and it felt like an accomplishment! I was thinking about how my first GMAT practice test seemed like an accomplishment almost - just sitting through the test for four hours and attempting all the questions was a milestone. That was the beginning to my MBA adventure. What is the optimal GMAT score? It depends. (I love how there are no straight-forward answers to anything pertaining to business or business school - it always always "depends". ) In this case, it depends on the school (different schools have different cut-offs and different split requirements), your citizenship status (the cutoff is a lot higher for international students applying to the US because of sheer competition), and your accomplishments (if you have turned around a multi-million dollar company, every college will want you whether you got a 580 or a 780 on your GMAT). Remember, there is a low-end spectrum of GMAT scores of admitted students that sets the average acceptance score.

Bottom Line: Running gives you the illusion that every step you finish is a major accomplishment. It also makes you notice 70 year old men.

Why get an MBA?

The question I have been asked a million times - by friends, by family, by recruiters, by strangers. Now, I can give you many answers - the rehearsed ones, the nice ones, the blunt ones - but they all have one thread in common - I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone. I was getting too comfortable where I was and things felt stagnant. My mentor always told me that you know you have to get up and move when what you are doing becomes second nature for you.

Well, that is an expensive way to push your limits, one might say. It is true - I probably could've taken all of the classes online, for free, read up on it on my own. I could have, but would I have? Probably not. I have been fortunate enough to have arranged some means to fund my MBA, and that might not be true for everyone else. For me, I wanted to meet people, hear stories (and tell some too), get a classroom experience (which might be dwindling in this digital age), be a full time student again, and venture out on my own. Everyone's priorities and motivations are different, and this was mine.

I was aware (and you should be as well) that I was losing out on two year's salary, risking not having a (better) job at the end of it all, and sinking in debt. But these are two prime, tension-free, commitment-free years of my life that I was willing to bet on. I don't expect to come out of this a changed person with super-powers (unless incredibly high alcohol tolerance and ability to function on no sleep count), and neither should you. I do know that I can deal with change and with people a lot better now.

Bottom line: I'm getting my MBA to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Why running?

"I cannot run a mile to save my life!" I have said this over and over again for the past decade. Running isn't new to me - I HAVE ran before. I used to do the 100m, 200m dashes in middle school - barefoot, mind you - once a year on our annual sports day, mostly because my friends were competing, and my teachers expected me to participate. Other sports and activities took over afterwards, and once I started dancing, running was out of the picture. My second stint was in college, when I decided I wanted to run because I wanted to improve my stamina (and kill time in the summer). That ended with my right knee being injured since I ran downhill a lot.

This is my first serious attempt at running. I want to run to discover the rhythm of running, the strength of pushing my boundaries, and the joy of crossing a finish line. I also want to run to overcome this stigma in my mind that I cannot run. I want to prove to myself that this is a challenge that I can overcome, and not an obstacle.

Call it a (post) quarter-life crisis or a crazy attempt to inflict pain on myself (that is what I would've said five years ago), but this run will have a story to tell with all the likings of a Bollywood movie - drama, romance, pain, celebration - and is there a better way to tie it all together than an MBA journey?